Roses For Holly (Garden of Love 4)

  Roses For Holly

  by Melanie Wilber

  Roses For Holly

  © 2002 by Melanie L. Wilber

  Revised and Updated, 2012

  All Rights Reserved.

  This is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogues are products of the author’s imagination. Except for well-known historical and contemporary figures, any resemblance to actual events or persons is entirely coincidental.

  Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.

  Also:

  Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishers.

  DEDICATION

  For Cathy,

  And your beautiful family

  The LORD is close to all who call on him,

  yes to all who call on him sincerely.

  He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;

  he hears their cries for help and rescues them.

  Psalm 145:18-19

  CHAPTER ONE

  Holly Stevens blinked open her heavy eyelids. The blurry red numbers on the clock slowly came into focus: 5:15. Closing her eyes, she longed for silence but heard Sarah cry again, the sound piercing through her foggy brain like the annoying blare of a bad alarm--only worse. This one didn’t have a snooze button or an off switch. Come on, Sarah. Can you really be hungry already? I fed you at three. Just another hour, please?

  Another wail came from the corner of the room, grating on Holly’s weary, disoriented senses. Holly groaned and pulled the pillow over her head. Another wail. Her annoyed musings comforted her little; They only brought on feelings of guilt for her unmommy-like thoughts.

  Not wanting Sarah to wake up the whole house, Holly forced herself to sit up and leave the comfort of her warm bed. Brushing her brown hair away from her face, she leaned over the bassinet and picked up her eleven-week-old daughter, drawing her into her chest.

  “Okay, honey. Mommy’s here. Shh, it’s okay.”

  Feeling half asleep, she carried Sarah to the changing table, exchanged the wet diaper for a dry one, and returned to her bed, propping her pillows against the headboard. She lifted her pajama top and unhooked one side of her bra. Positioning her baby in the crook of her arm, she pulled Sarah to her swelled breast. Sarah’s cries subsided, and Holly sighed with weariness.

  I should be used to this by now. But she wasn’t. Holly longed for a full nights’ sleep, something she hadn’t had since giving birth to her baby in September, nearly three months ago.

  Many nights she had wondered if keeping Sarah had been the right thing to do at seventeen. Perhaps such a huge responsibility was too much for her to handle on her own. Perhaps Sarah would have been better off in the care of those much older and more mature than herself.

  But whenever those thoughts surfaced, they were doused with the peace she held in her heart. She wasn’t alone. God was with her. He had given her this precious gift. A loving family had brought her into their home. And most of all, she loved her baby, more than she ever thought possible.

  Seventeen or not, she had a little girl to take care of, and Holly wanted to be the best mom she could be--even if that meant being awakened at five a.m.

  Sarah fell asleep while sucking on the second breast, and Holly lifted the relaxed body onto her shoulder. Sarah burped quietly without waking. Holly stroked her downy hair and soft cheek. These were the moments she cherished and reminded her of when she had first held Sarah in her arms.

  It had been a long, emotional night. Her mother had driven her to the hospital. The excruciating pain had been in her back. Her unsupportive mother’s presence had made her feel stressed and anxious about the impending delivery.

  Then an angel had rescued her. A nurse named Josie had come on duty, helping her cope with the pain in her back and in her heart. Josie had listened to her doubts and her fears. She had shared her story of having a baby and raising him on her own. Holly’s convictions about keeping Sarah had been confirmed through Josie’s words, despite the fact her mother abandoned her in the middle of the night, telling her she was not welcome to come home unless she gave the baby up for adoption.

  Faith had come that night too, her counselor from the pregnancy center. Between Josie and Faith she had gotten the support she needed to endure the nine hours of labor and to feel at peace when Josie placed Sarah into her arms.

  Not wanting to lose the warm feeling in her heart reminding her of that day, Holly laid Sarah on the mattress beside her and curled up next to the tiny form. She fell asleep within minutes.

  A soft knock woke her sometime later. She rolled over and opened her eyes, seeing Faith poke her blond head in the doorway.

  “Breakfast is ready,” she spoke softly. “Do you want to come now, or should I keep it warm for you?”

  “I’ll come,” she said. She covered Sarah with a blanket and laid her pillow lengthwise to keep Sarah in place. She couldn’t roll over yet or move around much, but Faith said those days would be coming soon. Pulling on her robe, Holly headed for the bathroom before joining her surrogate family at the kitchen table.

  The mood of the morning seemed more subdued than normal. Holly’s eyes flitted from one face to the next, recalling with fondness the last three months she had spent with Patrick and Faith Matthews and their two young daughters. Faith had reached out to her with love and compassion, getting her through those confusing and scary months of pregnancy, being there when Sarah came into the world, and inviting her into their home when she had nowhere else to go.

  She had never known the feeling of being a part of a loving home before. Her dad had left when she was eight. He had been drunk and abusive much of the time. After he left, things were better, but her mom had worked a lot, leaving Holly and her older brother to care for themselves more often than not.

  Her mom worked evenings and slept most of the day. Holly had tried not to disturb her. During the last few years they had stopped talking. Holly wasn’t sure why. Her older brother had gone into the Army after graduating from high school, leaving Holly alone with an angry and depressed mother. Not wanting to let anyone get too close and discover her home life, she had become a loner. Only Ian had broken through her shell.

  He’d been so sweet when they first started dating. Her first and only boyfriend. She had no idea he’d turn his back on her in the end.

  Finishing her pancakes and drinking the last of her orange juice, she took her dish to the sink and began loading the dishwasher. Patrick brought his plate to her, washed his hands, and spoke of the impending event of the day.

  “Dana and Jack called at eight o’clock and said they were on their way. Thought they’d be here by ten.”

  Holly looked at the clock. She had a little more than an hour to get herself and Sarah ready. One last hour with the Matthews family. She nodded and swallowed the lump in her throat.

  Patrick squeezed her shoulder and kissed the top of her head, stepping away without words. Holly knew Patrick had no idea how much his simple, loving gestures soothed her wounded spirit.

  Holly went to check on Sarah and found her still sleeping. She decided to take a shower before waking her. The warm water relaxed her tense body, and the fragrant shampoo refreshed her senses. She felt alive. Her closed and dying spirit had been given new life several months ago when she had asked Jesus to forgive her, heal her, and come live inside her heart. He had become her God, and she had never known a greater love.

  Her own parents and Sarah’s father had abandoned
her, but she was far from alone. Jesus loved her. Jesus had died for her. Jesus, God’s own son, had rescued her and given her new life in Him. Nothing could take that away from her.

  Holly hadn’t been dreading this day. She felt a little apprehensive about the change, but moving to Hood River with her aunt and uncle would be a good thing, she felt certain--mostly anyway. When she had visited them over Thanksgiving weekend, they had welcomed her into their home with openness and love. She had no reason to believe their hearts would be any less welcoming now.

  But leaving the most loving home she had ever been a part of in her seventeen years wouldn’t be easy. Patrick and Faith had given her so much in her short time here. Not only tangible assistance like diapers, baby things, and a room to stay in, but unconditional love and security. She would miss them, especially Faith and her listening ear. She hoped Aunt Dana would be someone she felt comfortable opening up to as well.

  Holly stepped from the shower and brushed out her light brown hair before returning to her room. She found Faith changing Sarah’s diaper.

  “Sorry. I thought she would sleep until I got done.”

  “I don’t mind,” Faith said. “Do you want to dress her now or wait until you feed her?”

  Holly grabbed the clothing she had set out last night and laid the outfit on the changing table. “We can do it now. Do you want me to?”

  “No. I will,” Faith said. “Go ahead and dry your hair and whatever else, and I’ll keep her happy as long as I can. She doesn’t appear to be starving.”

  Holly went back to the bathroom to finish getting ready. She dried her long hair and pulled the light brown mane into a loose ponytail at her neck. She put on her jeans and a blue button-up shirt over her white knit top. Rubbing some moisturizer over her face, she heard Sarah’s familiar hungry cry coming from the hallway. Her hazel eyes looked more green than brown today; They changed colors with the weather.

  Taking Sarah from Faith when she returned to the bedroom, Holly sat down to feed her once again. After Faith stepped from the room, she flipped on the radio and listened to the Christian music station while Sarah nursed, letting the encouraging lyrics of the songs remind her of God’s presence and care.

  When she finished, she laid Sarah in the crib under the musical mobile while she finished packing, made her bed, and put on her white canvas sneakers. Seeing Sarah happily watching Pooh Bear and Friends going round and round to the music, Holly took her Bible from her bag and spent a few minutes soaking up some calming truths from its pages.

  Until Faith had given her the Bible during her pregnancy, she had never read one before. Faith had encouraged her to begin with the Book of John and also to read a Psalm every day. That first week she had read John--all of it, totally enthralled by the stories about Jesus and His words. She found the Psalms enjoyable also. She could easily spend twenty or thirty minutes reading one chapter after another. She didn’t have that much time right now. Currently she had her place marked in Psalm 62. Verses five through eight spoke to her anxious heart:

  I wait quietly before God,

  for my hope is in him.

  He alone is my rock and my salvation,

  my fortress where I will not be shaken

  My salvation and my honor come from God alone.

  He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.

  O my people, trust in him at all times.

  Pour out your heart to him,

  for God is our refuge.

  Holly had been praying about this day for the last two weeks. Once more she poured out her heart to God with this simple prayer:

  Thank you for Uncle Jack and Aunt Dana. Help me and Sarah to adjust to a new home and new people. I trust you, Jesus. Help me to remember I am never alone.

  “Do you need anything?”

  Holly turned to see Faith step into the room. “I think I’m about ready.”

  Faith went to the crib to talk to Sarah. “You are such a happy girl. Look how big you are.”

  Holly rose to stand beside her, gazing upon her daughter with as much wonder as the day she was born. She had grown fast, her little cheeks getting chubby and her arms and legs filling out her clothes.

  Faith turned to her. “Are you okay, honey?”

  “Pretty nervous,” she admitted. “Going to visit was one thing, going to stay is more scary.”

  “You know that you are always welcome here.”

  Holly nodded, blinking back the tears.

  “If things don’t work out, if you’re not happy there, if you need to come back for any reason, you will always have a room here with us, all right?”

  She hugged Faith and let the tears come again. “Thanks for everything. I never would have been able to keep my baby if it wasn’t for you.”

  Sarah’s fussing interrupted them. Faith reached down to pick her up. “We are going to miss you too, little one.”

  “Be sure and let me know when yours comes,” Holly said, gazing at Faith’s rounded belly.

  “I will, and I’ll keep you up to date on everything going on around here. Oh, that reminds me,” she said, turning to leave the room.

  Holly followed her down the hall and into the kitchen. Faith handed her an envelope from the counter. Holly took it from her and peeked inside.

  “I got you some more minutes to add to your phone. Call us anytime if you need to talk or just want to chat. I also got you some stamps so you can drop us a note now and then and let us know how things are going.”

  Patrick entered the kitchen and announced that Dana and Jack had pulled into the driveway. Holly felt her nerves return in full force.

  “I guess this is it,” she said.

  CHAPTER TWO

  Jack and Dana Thorpe entered through the front door of the Matthews’ home. Holly watched their friendly exchange with Patrick before her aunt’s kind green eyes scanned the foyer and fell on her. Aunt Dana smiled.

  “Hello, Holly,” she said, stepping toward her and pulling her into a warm embrace.

  “Hello,” she replied, gaining strength from her aunt’s loving arms. “Thanks for driving all this way to come pick me up.”

  “Our pleasure,” she said. “We were a bit worried about waking up to snow on the ground this morning, but the storm must have headed north.”

  Holly hugged Uncle Jack next. He was a tall, broad man. Her head only came up to his chest, but his words were soft and cheerful.

  “Look at that baby. She’s twice as big as when we saw her before.”

  Holly turned to see Sarah cradled in Faith’s arms. She had fallen asleep again. Patrick invited them to stay for coffee and rest while he took Holly’s things to the car. Aunt Dana and Uncle Jack followed Faith and Baby Sarah into the kitchen. Holly stayed back to help Patrick, pointing out what to take from her room and what stayed.

  The room at her Aunt and Uncle’s would be furnished with a bed for herself and a crib for Sarah. She looked with longing at the white bassinet where Sarah had slept for the last eleven weeks, not wanting to leave it behind. But Faith would need it in a few months when her baby came.

  “Faith said you could take it,” Patrick said. She turned to see he had entered the room without her noticing.

  “No. It’s okay,” she said, managing a smile.

  “You are always welcome here, you know. If things--”

  “Faith already gave me that speech,” she interrupted.

  Patrick laughed and offered her a hug. She welcomed one with deep gratitude, then stepped back, wiping her tears with her fingertips and reaching for Sarah’s diaper bag and fleece blanket.

  Patrick grabbed the last suitcase, and she followed him down the hall. He left to take the luggage to the car, and Holly returned to the kitchen. Reminded of Aunt Dana and Uncle Jack’s easy-going friendliness, she listened to them talk with Faith as if they had known her for years. Her nerves began to subside. She hoped living with them would become as easy as her weeks here with Patrick and Faith had been.

  Only
when she had to say good-bye to her adoptive family did her strength waver a bit. She hugged the delightful young girls, Aleisha and Lindsey, on the front steps, then Patrick and finally Faith, clinging to her for several moments and allowing the tears to flow freely. Faith’s smile lifted her spirits and filled her with a sense of peace. This was a good thing. Backing away and stepping to the SUV, she took the seat beside Sarah. Uncle Jack had already secured the car seat in place.

  Aunt Dana turned around and gave her a warm smile. Determined not to cry anymore, Holly waved to the Matthews family as Uncle Jack pulled out of the driveway and then set her sights forward.

  A new home. A new family. A new life for herself and her daughter. God had been faithful by bringing Faith and her family into her life at the right time. Now her aunt and uncle were welcoming her into their home just as easily, despite the fact she did not know them well. Dana was her mother’s older sister, but they weren’t close. Any memories Holly had of them were vague.

  She’d had no idea what to expect when she went to their home over Thanksgiving weekend, having not spent any extended time with them in her seventeen years that she could recall. They had a daughter her own age and a son a few years younger. The entire family had been very kind to her. Dana and Jack could not have made her feel more welcome. Her cousins, Tamara and Ty, had been quiet at first, but by the end of the weekend they had begun to treat her less like a stranger invading their home and more like a long-lost cousin they were enjoying getting to know.

  Holly hoped Tamara could become like a sister she’d never had, but she tried not to get her hopes up. Tamara probably had many friends and a busy social life. Holly didn’t want to interfere. She didn’t expect Tamara to go out of her way to be nice to her. But maybe they could talk sometimes. Maybe Tamara could see past her mistakes and want to be her friend.