Lily Fields (Garden of Love 1) Read online

  He accepted the offer without argument and placed the pillow on the armrest beside him. “Sit with me for another ten minutes,” he said. “Then I’ll let you get your beauty sleep.”

  She smiled and sat down beside him. “Can I ask you something?”

  “What’s that?”

  “Why do you think I’m beautiful?”

  He answered without thinking. “Because you glow.”

  She laughed. “I what?”

  “You glow,” he repeated, reaching out to touch her cheek. “Your eyes, your smile, your expressions, they radiate this light I can’t even describe. You don’t only look beautiful, you are beautiful.”

  She closed her eyes and felt Marty kiss her on the cheek, right where his fingers had been. He obviously wanted to do more than that, but he didn’t. “On second thought, off to bed with you now,” he said. “Before I do something stupid.”

  Lily slept in the following morning. When she finally woke up, she feared Marty may have already left. They hadn’t discussed any plans for today, and she thought he may have tried to catch an early bus home. But when she headed downstairs, she smelled bacon cooking. Marty was in the kitchen making some breakfast. They spent the morning together, and Lily drove him home that afternoon. Last night had been a time to be together and enjoy the company of each other’s friendship. But today they talked business.

  Marty said he could wait until the beginning of February for her decision. If she wanted to get married, he could divert his plans to leave for another two months, giving them time to have a proper wedding before heading off to the jungle. But if she said no, he would leave at the beginning of March as planned.

  Five weeks was not a long time to make such a life changing decision, but she did feel it gave her some breathing room. They didn’t make any plans to see each other or call. If one of them felt like calling, they would do it. If Marty wanted to see her, he would call and make plans, and vice-versa.

  “I have a meeting with the pastor at Emmanuel on Tuesday,” he reminded her. “I’ll call you when I’m done and see if you want to grab some lunch or something, but no pressure. It’s okay to tell me no.”

  “Okay,” she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek before he got out of the car in front of his parents’ house. “Thanks for being understanding, Marty. No matter what I decide, you’ll always be one of the best friends I’ve ever had.”

  On the drive back to Portland, she cried some more. This truly was the hardest decision she would ever have to make in her life. On Saturday she spent the day shopping with Rose. They took advantage of some good after-Christmas sales but mostly enjoyed having some time together as sisters.

  Growing up, Lily had actually been closer to Camellia. They were only two years apart instead of six like herself and Rose. Lily had idolized her older sister, wanting to be as pretty as Camellia, as smart, as popular, as talented...the list went on and on. They used to have so much in common. They used to sing duets at church together, play their flutes together, wear each other’s clothes, read the same books, listen to the same music...

  But when Lily went off to Europe with Marty and the mission team at nineteen, she realized she had spent her life living in her sister’s shadow, and she was sick of it. No matter how hard she tried, she would never be like Camellia. And that was okay. She didn’t have to be.

  Sometimes she still struggled with wanting what Camellia had...a husband, children, a career in line with the rest of the family’s, but she had learned to be satisfied in who she was and living the life God had for her.

  “You know what scares me the most?” she told Rose as they sat in the food court of the mall having dinner. “I’m afraid of deciding to get married because I have waited so long, instead of because I truly love Marty and want to spend the rest of my life with him.”

  Rose reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “You’ll make the right decision, Lil. I know you will.”

  “I don’t know,” she said. “How did you know Geoffrey was the one?”

  Rose smiled. “I just did. And you will too.”

  Lily kept thinking about the look of confidence in her younger sister’s twenty-one-year-old face that evening and the following morning when she headed for church. If her little sister could be that confident in her choice, she knew she could be too.

  Entering the room where her class gathered on Sunday mornings, she did have a peace in her heart. She trusted God to make His will known to her. Perhaps even this morning something someone said would give her the answer she needed. She’d had that happen before where she had struggled with something for weeks and then suddenly something would click in her mind that made it all come together. She’d had that happen while reading her Bible or praying on her own, and she planned to be very diligent with her devotional life over the coming weeks.

  Or perhaps it would come when she least expected it, in a way she never could have imagined. She may have to wait, but it would come. After all, was God God or not? Wasn’t He able to lead her? Had Marty’s return surprised Him? Of course not.

  She had begun to sprout her wings and take flight above all her concerns and complex life when Josie came to sit beside her. She turned to say hi, eager to ask Josie how her Christmas had been, but Josie spoke abruptly.

  “Don’t look now, but Peter is here,” she whispered.

  “Peter?” she said, turning around.

  “I said not to look!” Josie giggled. “He’s in the back, meeting some of Mark’s friends. I snuck away to warn you.”

  Lily couldn’t help but look back. Scanning the area by the door, she saw him. He glanced up at the same moment and spotted her. He smiled and waved.

  Lily waved mechanically before turning toward the front of the room once again. “What’s he doing here?” she asked.

  “He’s here to see you.”

  Josie’s words could not have been more disheartening. Those wings that had been ready to fly were suddenly wet and shaking. She pulled them back in and felt as trapped as a parakeet in a cage. What on earth had she done? The guy had flown six-hundred miles to see her, to surprise her! She felt as tall as a grasshopper that deserved to be squashed. No that would be the easy way out. She was going to have to face him.

  “I would have warned you sooner, Lil, but I didn’t know until this morning when Mark came to pick me up. He’s been in California with his family since Christmas Day.”

  “That’s okay,” she said, knowing this was her fault not Josie’s.

  Peter and Mark joined them moments later. Lily did her best to give Peter a friendly smile and felt relieved when he took the chair beside his brother rather than coming to sit in the empty one next to her.

  When the hour was up, Lily felt like making up some excuse to leave, but she knew she couldn’t do that. Rising from her chair along with the others, she followed Josie and Mark out of their row and saw Peter deliberately hang back to walk alongside her as they made their way out of the room.

  “Hello, Lily,” he said. “I bet you didn’t expect to see me today.”

  “No,” she said, sounding calmer than she felt. “What brings you back?”

  He suddenly appeared shy. Glancing around at the mob surrounding them, he reached for her hand and leaned down to say something for her ears only.

  “Is there someplace around here we could talk?”

  She wanted to pull her hand from his, but she couldn’t. She would have suggested they remain in the room until the others left, but she knew another group would be gathering here in a few minutes. She honestly couldn’t think of anyplace private around here on a Sunday morning. They would have to leave the building for that.

  “How long are you in town?” she asked.

  “Until tomorrow.”

  “How about if you buy me lunch after the service? We could talk then.”

  “Sounds perfect.” He smiled and squeezed her hand. She felt relieved when he released it and let her lead the way to the hallway where Josie and Mark wer
e waiting for them.

  She excused herself to go to the ladies’ room. Josie told Mark to go ahead and get them some seats in their usual place and followed her.

  “Do you want to duck out of here?” Josie asked once they were in the restroom. “I can tell him if you want me to. I’m the one that got you into this mess.”

  Josie’s offer was tempting, but she knew she had to be the one to tell Peter the truth. “I’m having lunch with him today,” she said, finger-combing her hair as she looked herself over in the mirror. “And this is not your fault. I knew exactly what I was doing at the concert.”

  Josie stared at her curiously. “What were you doing?”

  “I was attracted to Peter that night,” she admitted. “I could have let go of his hand. I could have said good-bye more quickly instead of lingering with him beside my car. But I didn’t want to. So now I have a decision to make.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  Lily opened the door to her apartment and stepped inside. Peter followed, carrying the bag from the deli in his hands. She stopped to remove her shoes and her coat. Peter closed the door behind him and followed her to the kitchen, setting the bag on the table and removing his coat.

  “Nice place,” he said, glancing around. “Do you live alone?”

  “Yes,” she said. “Growing up in a house of seven made me long for peace and quiet.”

  Meow moseyed into the room, looking like he’d been wakened from his morning nap. Hearing Tweet chirp in the living room, she revised her statement.

  “Well, I almost live alone,” she said, smiling at him too sweetly for what she had to say to him at some point. She quickly dropped her eyes. Meow looked up at the stranger in his house and said hello, then introduced himself by rubbing up against Peter’s leg. “Meow and Tweet keep it from being too quiet around here.”

  Reaching for the bag on the table, she took out the wrapped sandwiches and the small tub of potato salad. She grabbed some plates and silverware from the cupboard. Peter offered to help, and she passed the dishes and utensils to him.

  “What would you like to drink?” she asked, opening the refrigerator to see what she had on hand. She gave him his options, and he chose apple juice. She poured some for both of them and joined him at the table.

  Knowing no place on a Sunday would be anything other than crowded, Lily had suggested they pick up something at the nearby deli and eat here. Even though she had thought about it all through church and on the way to her apartment, she still had no idea what she was going to say to him. Whatever it turned out to be, she decided to wait until they finished eating.

  He asked about her family and her work. She made up her mind to relax and enjoy a pleasant lunch. If Peter wasn’t such a nice guy, this would be a lot easier. She kept waiting for him to do something that aggravated her or exposed a side of him she didn’t care for, but as the minutes ticked by, she only found herself liking him more.

  When they were finished eating, Lily knew the time had come to tell Peter about Marty. She could imagine herself saying, ‘I’m flattered that you came to see me, but there’s something you should know...’ She would go on to explain about Marty’s return to her life, the urgency behind the decision she had to make, how if this had been a different time there could have possibly been something between them...

  But when Peter moved his chair closer to hers, reached for her hand, and said what she had already heard from Josie, it didn’t quite turn out that way.

  “To answer your earlier question at the church,” he said. “I came here for no other reason than to see you, Lily.”

  Swallowing hard, she tried to speak, but he beat her to it.

  “I like you, Lily,” he spoke softly. “I like you a lot. Really, a lot.”

  His smile broke her heart. She could tell he was nervous and wasn’t used to talking to women like this, letting himself be so honest and vulnerable.

  “I know we just met,” he went on, “and we live in different states. I’m not sure if anything can work out between us, or if you’re interested in me, but I had to come here and find out if you think it might be a possibility?”

  She bit her lip and closed her eyes, trying to figure out how she was going to do this. He likes me--a lot. Why now? Why not two months ago? Opening her eyes to see him about two inches from her face, she didn’t have the chance to stop him from kissing her.

  She only allowed their lips to touch for a brief second, but it sent a shocking tingling sensation through her. She pulled back quickly and rose from her chair, knocking it over in her haste.

  “I’m sorry, Peter,” she gasped, righting her chair once again and backing away from the table. “I-I can’t.”

  He looked disheartened but not completely devastated, like he thought he may still have a shot. He started to get up, but she stopped him.

  “No, please sit,” she said. “I need to tell you something.”

  Peter waited for her to explain. Thinking he had come six-hundred miles to hear this gave her an awful feeling.

  “I have a boyfriend, Peter. I’m sorry I gave you the wrong impression. I know I flirted with you and let you hold my hand. That was stupid. I’m not used to having a blind date turn out that well, so I didn’t think much about it. I am really, really sorry you came all this way to hear me say that.”

  She saw him swallow hard. His eyes dropped. She felt like crying but didn’t want to in front of him. Feeling numb, she mostly wished this wasn’t happening, and she had no idea how she had ended up here. Her life was usually more predictable and boring than this!

  He slowly stood and reached for his coat on the back of the chair. “I guess I’ll be going then,” he said, glancing at her only briefly. She could see her dishonesty had hurt him. “I’m sorry I assumed...Good-bye, Lily.”

  He appeared embarrassed for acting foolish in front of her, for being so open with his feelings. He was sweet. Too sweet to have this happen to him, but she didn’t know how to change it.

  He was halfway to the door before she moved from her spot and decided she had to do something besides let him leave. He turned to face her when she called his name, but he couldn’t look directly into her eyes.

  “Forgive me, Peter,” she said. “I can’t let you leave without you knowing how truly sorry I am.”

  He appeared to consider her request.

  “I don’t want you to leave feeling hurt and angry. If there was any way to change what I did, I would. Please believe that.”

  “I’m not angry, Lily. I should have called instead of showing up like this. Don’t give it another thought, okay?”

  She didn’t know if she could do that. She knew this wasn’t entirely her fault, but she still felt bad.

  “Can I ask you something?” he said.

  “Yes.”

  “If you’re seeing someone, why did you go on a blind date?”

  “It’s a long story.”

  He appeared willing to hear it, and his words confirmed that. “You don’t owe me anything, Lily, but my plane doesn’t fly out of here until tomorrow if you feel like sharing.”

  She smiled and stepped into the living room, giving him a silent invitation to follow her. He did and sat in the chair by the window while she took the sofa. She told him about talking to Josie and agreeing to be set up because of the extra tickets. Then she told him about seeing Marty for the first time in seven years and the surprising results.

  “So, the night of the concert the two of you weren’t anything more than friends?” Peter asked.

  She realized that was true. “No, we weren’t.”

  A slight smile formed on his face. “Well in that case, Lily, you are definitely forgiven. Now I’m the one that’s sorry I didn’t call you the next day before I left.”

  Lily wondered what she would have said. Apparently he had the same thought.

  “Would you have been surprised?”

  “Maybe a little,” she said.

  “Would you have agreed to let me call you?”
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  She smiled at him. He was going to get this out of her yet. “Maybe,” she replied.

  He sighed like a little-leaguer who had struck out. “So after all that time of not seeing Marty, now you have a month to decide if you want to marry him and move to Kenya?”

  She wasn’t sure why, but she felt comfortable talking with Peter about such a personal matter. Almost as if he was an old friend who could be a neutral voice in helping her make the right decision, even if his choice for her would be different.

  “Pretty crazy, huh?”

  “Do you love him?”

  “That’s what I have to figure out.”

  He asked her more about what their relationship had been like back in college, and she told him, along with some things about her current life that could affect her decision. He wasn’t surprised one of those factors was her job, and she talked extensively about that aspect. He didn’t try to offer his opinion or advice on anything she said, but he asked her some poignant questions that made her think and be honest with herself about what was important to consider and what was foremost on her mind and in her heart.

  After Peter left, Lily decided to call Josie. Neither one of them were interested in everyday chit-chat, and Josie got straight to the point.

  “Did you tell him about Marty, and that was that?”

  “Mmmm, there was a little more to it.”

  “I’m listening.”

  Lily laughed. “Things like this don’t happen to me, Josie! I feel like I’m living someone else’s life.”

  Josie laughed. “Lily! What happened?”

  “Before or after he kissed me?”

  “What?” She laughed again. “Lily! Tell me everything.”

  Lily recounted their time together as best as she could remember. Josie thought she had done the right thing by asking for his forgiveness and not letting him leave without explaining everything.

  “I bet he’s sorry he didn’t call you the next day.”

  “Yeah, that’s the impression I got.”

  “How did you leave things?”

  “He asked if I wanted his number so I could call him if I end up deciding not to marry Marty.”